Daddy issues: The unspoken trauma in relationships

Childhood traumas are not always evidently recognisable. Some are deeply hidden within the mind and stem even from the slightest of actions. When your life begins, it revolves mainly around your parents and siblings, if you have any.

So, the impact your parents have on you is immense. It is your growing years when your personality shines through. But what happens when trauma, masked by fear, aggression, guilt and confusion seeps into your mind right when you are growing up?

Your mind begins to act in a certain way that leaves permanent scars on your soul. The biggest trauma occurs in your childhood when your parents do not support or provide the right kind of care and love for you. The absence of a parent figure in your life poses a deep risk to your personality that creeps into the relationships that you form later in your life.

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The people whose dads haven’t stuck around them when growing up can often relate to the term, ‘daddy issues.’ It is generally used to describe women who have issues being in relationships with men because they have unstable childhood relationships with their father. The term ‘daddy issues’ rises from the emotional damage an absent father inflicts on his children when he promises them all the happiness in the world but fails to be there for them.

Such men are self-centred and only prioritise themselves above anyone. Their frisky behaviour eventually attacks their daughter’s mind when the latter tries to form relationships in adulthood. Women with daddy issues are emotionally dependent on men and fear being alone due to attachment issues in their childhood.

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Insecure about letting go of another man in their life, women cling to them as much as they can, even if the relationship is slowly turning toxic. Daddy issues make it impossible for a woman to think for herself because she continuously looks to form a bond with men only so that she doesn’t have to be alone. Such a woman falls in love with anyone who gives her attention and this is all due to the lack of attention from her father in her childhood or teenage years.

Even though daddy issues are mostly inclined towards women as it focuses on the needs of a woman in a relationship, it isn’t just a female thing.

Men who have had similar experiences in their childhood enter toxic relationships when they are adults and either turn controlling or let someone else control them. This cycle continues until the person is able to resolve their inner issues. First, they have to accept, understand and analyse their emotions intricately in order to break free from the cycle of seeking validation from partners who won’t give them the right care and love.

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